You know that phone call you dread, right? The one that comes from someone that always calls at the worst possible time? It’s not that you don’t want to talk to them – but just they always call when you’re in the middle of something urgent. And they always really need to speak right now.
It’s not because they are stupid, or rude. It’s because they have bad ghongai. I’ve been theorising this for a while and my conclusion is that some people have good ghongai, and some people have bad ghongai.
For example I have a great relationship with my mentor, John. I think one of the reasons for this is that he has this ability to call at a good time. When I’m quiet, my mind is still and capable of being opened. And if it’s a bad time, we always easily setup a new time to continue the conversation.
And yet other people including suppliers, customer and colleagues always call at a bad time. This sometimes makes me look less available than I really am. Interestingly with these people, there are several factors that don’t matter. For instance, some have access to my schedule and some do not. This makes pretty much no difference.
There appears to be no rhyme or reason to whether a person has ghongai; but I believe that it is a bilateral relationship. For instance I like to speak to my colleague Tristan Colgate. But it is almost possible to get on a call with him – we are always busy at different times. In other words, he has bad ghongai. Or wait, is it me that has it?
But what I’m wondering is what the impact of the subconscious is here. Are there people I subconsciously prioritise, and therefore grant them good gonghai? And if so, what does that mean of what I secretly think of Tristan?
I don’t think I buy your last paragraph. My wife is my top priority and has worse timing needing anything than anyone I’ve ever met.
Of course, it might be that she is subconsciously proving to herself that I’m her top priority by making me respond to her regardless of her poor gonghai.